Gay Sex & DF
The Problem Every Promiscuous Person Has
By Alex Orue
February is here, and Valentine’s Day is just around the corner. One of the most chaotic days throughout the year is almost upon us and will set us apart from each other, from the ones that have a Valentine to spend the holiday with, those who are looking for one, and those who just lost theirs.
What it is about this day that will make the most sane person go totally mental? Here in Mexico City you can feel the mood in the air almost right after New Years. Guess we latinos are as passionate about these things as others have portrait us.
Everybody strives to have it all in life. Both in their personal and in their professional lives, but most can only focus in just one, being “the personal life” the hardest one to maintain. Can we really have it all?…
Almost two weeks ago I started dating a really nice guy. The kind of guy that will consider your opinion for pretty much anything on a date, but independent enough to have a say in it and be heard. He has an admirable job: a human rights lawyer. We hit it off right from the get-go and really began to share more than I thought I would. He’s taken me to really weird but awesome places on our dates, from the hipster choices in Condesa, to the 90‘s-stuck venues in Zona Rosa and downtown. However, he ain’t really the type of guy that I’ve dated (not complaining, thou).
Hear me out, I’m pretty complicated to match with given that I’m way too tall for many (I’m 6’4 feet, 194 cm), and I’m what people in the Community would consider an otter. He, on the other hand, is average height. I can overlook that, definitely, but I can’t help to look at us in our reflection every time we pass by a window. And as I say, he ain’t my type but in all honesty the guys I’d seen as “my type” were no close to endure longer than three months. Still, although Ralph (as he shall be referred) is way different from the others he applies to the CTS (Communication, Trust & Sex). I may be over thinking too much but to me CTS has always been three things that are not negotiable to make a relationship work.
“Communication” is all great. We both are a couple of bigmouths and have a twisted sense of humour and wit that love about each other, although we might’ve had a dreadful date last night and haven’t really talked about it (but given that we’ve seen each other pretty much on a daily basis I guess that one bad date doesn’t really count, does it?). The “Trust” thing ain’t a problem, I’d guess. We’ve told very intimate things about our past and I’m quite positive he’s not gonna take me by surprise with any biggie, so in short, he does make me feel safe. But when it comes to sex, well, we are taking it slow (or whatever that means). We’ve only done it once and I’m feeling like I’m back in high school all over again. Dry season? So soon? Or is it just the kind of thing people do when they want to start something serious? Honestly, I’m asking because I ain’t an expert on these things (God knows I’m a serial monogamous).
Does the “sex” issue reflect a lack of communication and trust? Should I clear things up about my expectations or should I let this grow naturally like I intended?
I might sound like a promiscuous guy, but aren’t we all gay men? Are promiscuous people just those who have sex more often than us? or is it only subjective?
Although sex ain’t it all in a relationship, it certainly does have an impact on the level of chemistry that people have, so I can’t help but wonder: Is sex really on the same level of communication and trust?